Murder at the Gun Lodge
by Istale
Summary: Naruto and his classmates all genin Akatsuki go on a mysterious school trip. They're disappointed when they discover it's at an old gun range, but things get exciting when some of the students find a freshly killed body.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Naruto or the Eagles' song  
**

**Okay, so I was stuck at a stupid shooting range with nothing to do and I thought,what if someone murdered someone at a shooting range? They'd never knew who did it! ^^ Then I thought, ooh Naruto! Someone needs to get murdered in a shooting range!!^^**

**^^ I hope you enjoy and please review!  
**

* * *

"Why did I sign up for this stupid trip?" Sakura whined. "It's so lame!"

"Tell me about it." Ino agreed.

They were stuffed into a rented van, heading toward some mystery location for a school trip. The only ones who knew the full details were Gai, Asuma, and Kakuzu.

"I am sure that whatever Gai-sensei has chosen will be the best school trip ever!" Lee said with stars in his eyes.

"I'm just glad there's no homework." Kiba said. Most of the students going had only signed up to go because they were exempt from all assignments during the trip.

"You can thank me for that, Kiba." Gai said, pointing a thumb proudly toward his chest. "I made a deal with principal Tsunade so that all of the students are exempt that are going on the trip."

"Yeah, you guys get exempt and I get to come along." Tsunade said. She was sitting in the passenger seat drinking something that she claimed was water, but smelled suspiciously of vodka.

"You just didn't want to work." Neji pointed out from the back seat where he sat between Lee and Hinata.

"Aw, what's the harm in a little break every now and then?" Tsunade asked, waving a hand at him.

"Tch! You never do _anything_!" Kiba said. "I still haven't gotten my report card from the beginning of sophomore year."

"That is true." Lee said, thoughtfully. "I haven't received mine either."

"That's not my fault!" Tsunade said, turning to look at them. "It's the teacher's job to post grades."

"But principal Tsunade, you're the one on charge of sending out report cards." Gai said, taking his eyes off the road.

"Oh, that must be what Shizune is always telling me to send out . . . oh well!" She smiled and took another swig of her "water".

"How can you be so nonchalant?" Neji asked, crossing his arms.

"Yeah," Kiba agreed. "How the hell did you get to be our principal?"

Tsunade grimaced at the memory. "I lost a bet."

.

In the van behind them, Shizune was arguing with Kakuzu about the safety of having nine people crammed into an eight-seater van that only had six seat belts. Somehow, he had convinced Tsunade to only buy three eight-seater vans when they were expecting 21 students and 8 teachers.

"It's cheaper this way!" Kakuzu said defensively. "Besides, we all fit."

"If Konan, Pain, and Zetsu had come we wouldn't!" Shizune snapped back. "This van doesn't even have enough seat belts!"

"The rental company gave us a discount because someone cut the seat belts."

At the mention of this, Tenten made sure that her travel-collection of knives was not visible to the young safety-obsessed teacher.

"Everyone stop arguing!" Shino suddenly yelled. Everyone instantly shut their mouths.

Asuma and Kurenai had been arguing about this mystery location that they were heading to—he still wouldn't tell her where it was. Shikamaru and Chouji had been arguing because Shikamaru claimed that Chouji's chip-munching was too loud and he couldn't nap. They had all definitely been in the car for way too long.

"Asuma-sensei, how much longer until we get there?" Shino asked, breaking the now awkward silence.

"About twenty more minutes." Asuma answered, checking a piece of paper taped to the dashboard that was supposed to be a map.

"Good."

.

In the van behind them, it was even more hectic, with arguing, off-key singing (thanks to Anko) and little moans of pain (credit to Naruto^^).

Naruto was lying on the floor between Kakashi and Iruka's seats, attempting to change the radio station. Anko was sitting on top of him, singing off-key while pinning him to the floor.

"Oh no you don't!" She said as Naruto made another attempt to turn the dial. "This is _my _station and we're _not_ changing it!" She yanked on his messy blonde hair.

"Aw come on; this stuff is crap!" Naruto whined. "No one listens to classic rock anymore!" He reached an arm up to change the station, but Anko grabbed it and twisted his arm behind his back.

"Ow! Ow! You're the worst teacher ever!" Anko laughed, obviously taking this as a compliment.

"Kakashi-sensei, can't we change the station? Please?"

"Um, I don't think that'd be a good idea." Kakashi said nervously, hoping that Anko wouldn't come for him next.

"Come on! This music is _terrible_!" Naruto said, pounding a fist into the floor.

"Tobi likes this song." Tobi said, joining the pile of people between Kakashi and Iruka's seats. "Don't change it.

"Tobi, do you even know the name of this song?" Deidara asked.

"Of course!" Tobi said, rolling his eyes beneath his mask. "It's Peaceful Easy Feeling by the Eagles." He surprised them all by singing to the rest of the sing, perfectly on key.

"Wow, who knew Tobi could sing?" Kisame asked, nudging Itachi who had been hanging onto his little brother the whole ride.

Sasuke had been trying to ignore his older brother, but it was a little hard when he had his arms wrapped around you for an hour and a half.

"We could use to make some money!" Kakuzu said, imagining thousands of fans lining up to buy tickets to a Tobi concert.

"I wouldn't pay to hear _that_!" Sasuke said.

"Little Brother," Itachi said, looking smiling down at him. "don't be so rude. Tobi was pretty good."

"I don't care what _you_ think!" He said. "Get off me!" He tried unsuccessfully to shove the older uchiha away.

"But we never get to spend time together, Sasuke!"

"I like it better hat way!"

While Sasuke and Itachi argued, Anko tried to get Tobi to sing other sings.

"That's the only song Tobi knows." He said in an innocent voice, simultaneously crushing Kakuzu's dream into dust.

Naruto finally changed the station and Anko was about to rip his head off when Kakashi parked the car.

He seemed a little confused. "Is this the place?"

* * *

**Yeah, so you can probably guess (from the title and my earlier comments) what's going to happen.**

**I'm still trying to decode who kills who--I think I might have some random stranger die ^^**

**But I wonder who'll kill him?**

**It's like clue--if only there was a butler!^^**

**Please review^^  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own Naruro.**

**Okay, I might call the place a gun range or a shooting range, I just switch between them, 'cause I 'em both.**

**I'm sorry if the characters aren't exactly in character ^^"**

**I'm also sorry this chapter's so short .  
**

* * *

Everyone stared at the building in front of them with varying degrees of disgust. For reasons unknown, Gai and Asuma had chosen a shooting range for their mysterious school trip location.

"Why the _hell_" Tsunade said, crushing her empty "water" bottle, "are we at an overnight shooting range?!"

"Isn't it wonderful?" Gai asked, dancing around the group of disgusted students and teachers. "This place is so quiet and it's miles away from any towns!"

"What?!" You mean we actually have to _sleep_ here?!"Ino asked. "It looks like it's falling to pieces! What if some hobo off the street comes and—"

"I am sure that this trip will definitely be fun!" Lee said. "If Gai-sensei chose it, then it must be the best place ever!"

"Yeah right!" Sakura crossed her arms. "This place sucks! Who wants to go to s stupid shooting range, anyway?"

"I don't think it's that bad." Tenten said. "Guns aren't as good as knives, but they're still fun."

Neji rolled his eyes. "You and your weapons."

Kurenai grabbed the front of Asuma's shirt and pulled him up close. "Why the _hell_ did you choose a place like this?" She growled, glaring at him with her frightening crimson eyes.

Asuma smiled nervously. "We thought it'd be fun."

"What the hell is fun about a gun range?!" Tsunade yelled. She had Gai by his shirtfront too, although she was threatening him with a fist, rather than her eyes.

"You know how there's been a lot of vandalism around Konoha lately?" Gai asked, giving a meaningful look to the seniors who all tried to act innocent. "We decided that it would be good idea for them to get all their shooting done in a safe way."

"I don't think that giving them target practice is going to stop the vandalism." Kakashi said.

"I'll prove you wrong, Kakashi, just wait!" Gai said, pointing a finger at his rival.

Ignoring him, Kakashi pulled out Icha Icha Paradise and began to read.

_How can he act so cool?! _Gai thought.

Tsunade was the first one to head toward the lodge.

"Gai, you'd better start running, 'cause as soon as I get my hands on a gun—"

* * *

**Heh-heh, Gai better run for his life ^^**

**Yeah, again, sorry it's so freaking short**

**Review! ^^  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Happy National Mix It Up Day!^^**

**Yay! So this is another chapter, sorry it's so late^^"**

**Okay, so I know the title sucks and is totally uninteresting, so you people (my readers) should suggest a new title!^^**

**I'll keep the best one(obviously, although using the worst one would be kind of fun^^) so please help me come up with ideas!**

**I don't own Naruto.  
**

* * *

"Welcome to the Suna Gun Lodge." The boy at the counter said in a bored voice. He was wearing all black, including a black cap with points that looked a bit like cat ears.

"Whoa, what happened to your face?!" Naruto asked, pointing obnoxiously at Kankuro.

"The question is," a blonde girl said, threateningly cocking the shotgun she was cleaning, "is what'll happen to yours if you ask again."

"You two! Be nice to the customers!" Their manager, Baki, said. "Don't scare them away before they pay!"

Temari grumbled and shoved the shotgun back onto its shelf.

"You guys must be the group from Konoha." Kankuro said, lazily flipping the papers on a clipboard. "Follow me, I'll show you to your rooms." He pulled two keys off the wall behind him and headed down a hallway to the left.

He stopped about halfway along and gestured to the rooms on either side. "Boys on the left and girls on the right." He tossed the keys to Asuma and Tsunade. "Those are the only key's you'll get, so don't lose 'em!"

Naruto opened the door and jumped back. "There's someone in there!" He yelled, pointing to a dark figure standing on the balcony.

Kankuro looked into the room and saw the pale redhead staring off onto space.

"Yo, Gaara! You finished with this room?"

Gaara turned and studied the group impassively. ". . . Yeah."

"Then come on, I think Yashamaru was looking for you earlier."

Gaara came out into the hallway, gave the group one more unreadable glance, and then turned and headed toward the lobby.

"Man, he's scary." Naruto said, he had hid behind Kiba when he saw Gaara on the balcony.

"Chicken." Sasuke smirked but then Itachi shoved him into the room.

"Let's make sure our futons are right next to each other, little brother!"

"Hey, what about me?" Kisame followed his best friend into the room, a little jealous of the younger Uchiha.

* * *

**I apologize for uber-short chapters, but that's just how they ended up^^" (besides,if I made them any longer, I porbably wouldn't post every day ^^")**

**Somehow I need to try to fit a ghost story or something into here . . . There isn't one on the original writing but it doesn't make sense in the next chapter for the three to be so scared . . .**

**I'm not sure if I s hould write it out or just imply that ghost stories should be told . . .**

**I'll make it a poll, so vote!^^**

**Review please!!!!!!  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**'Kay guys, 'cause of popular vote, I didn't write out the ghost story. (Thank goodness, 'cause that would mean more work for me ^^)**

**I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

"This place is creepy." Naruto said, clinging onto Sakura's arm

"Get off, you chicken!" She shoved the blonde away. "Sasuke isn't scared, are you?" She asked.

Sasuke didn't answer—the truth was, he was scared too. They had spent most of the day telling ghost stories after getting tired of being shot at by Hidan and Deidara.

"You think we're the only people staying here?I haven't seen anyone else around." Naruto latched onto Sasuke's arm since Sakura was threatening to kill him if he touched her.

"Get off; I didn't escape from my brother just top be glomped by _you_!" Sasuke shoved Naruto off.

Sakura suddenly stopped. "What was that?!"

The other two stopped struggling and listened to the creaking of the old lodge.

"I don't hear anything." Sasuke said nervously.

"Sakura, don't scare us like that!" Naruto said.

"I really heard something!" Sakura whimpered, grabbing onto Sasuke's other arm.

All three of them huddled in the dark hallway, listening for mysterious sounds. Something burst out of the doorway next to them, causing all three of them to scream as loudly as they could.

"There you are, Sasuke!"

Itachi, Kisame, and Deidara all tumbled out on top of the three juniors, creating a chaotic jumble of students in the dark hallway.

"So little brother, what are you guys doing in this dark and creepy part of the lodge?" Itachi asked.

"Us? What are _you_ doing here?" Sakura asked, shoving Kisame off and standing up.

"We were trying to keep Deidara from stealing any gunpowder." Kisame answered. He stood up and glowered at the blonde senior sitting comfortably on Naruto's stomach.

"Hey! I wasn't going to steal . . . that much." He said after a little thought. "Just enough to blow up that stupid Temari." He growled.

Temari had been driving him crazy since that morning when he had asked her if she liked oral. She now took every opportunity to hit him, insult him, and make fun of him that came her way. There were still a few bows in his hair from a few hours ago when she had tied him up and dressed him like a girl.

"So why are you here, little brother?"

"I was trying to stay away from _you_!" Sasuke said, shoving Itachi away.

"So rude! Didn't you always want to spend time together when we were younger?"

"Yeah, but I got over it, so stay away from me!" Sasuke stomped away.

The others followed him for lack of something better to do. Sasuke flung open a door, ready to shut the others out, but he stopped suddenly, his eyes wide.

"What is it Sasuke?" Sakura asked. She peered over his shoulder and gasped.

In the middle of the room, surrounded by a puddle of blood, was a dead body.

* * *

**OMG!**

**Yeah, just wanted to add that^^**

**Anyway, review!^^ And suggest titles please!**

**Sorry it took until chapter four to get to the dead body, but that's just how it ened up when I wrote it down^^"**

**Actually, the whole story is way different than I originally imagined it . . . oh well!^^**

**Thanks for reading^^, ciao!**

**(since my chapters have been so short, I'm gonna upload ch.5 in a few minutes)  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**So . . .**

**I don't own Naruto.**

**Suggest titles!^^**

**Yeah, so . . .olright, I don't really have anything to say^^"  
**

* * *

"Omigod! Omigod! Omigod!" Sakura was hyperventilating while the others just stood there and stared with their mouths open.

Kisame stepped into the room and nudged the unknown person with his foot.

"Kisame! Don't touch it!" Sakura said, yanking the huge senior away.

"Who is it?" Naruto asked. "It's not someone we know, right?" He had his hands over his eyes and refused to look at the corpse.

"No, I've never seen him before." Deidara said. He crouched down and was about to stick his finger in the blood when thee was a loud shattering sound outside the room.

All six Konoha students rushed back into the hallway just in time to be bowled over by Gai and Asuma. They all fell to the floor, trying not to get stepped on by anyone else.

"I'm going to kill you two!" Tsunade yelled. A vase near Kisame's head suddenly exploded—destroyed by the bullet shot by a certain irate principal.

Tsunade appeared, carrying the shotgun that Temari had been cleaning yesterday.

"How could you forget to pay for the entire week?!" She lifted the gun and aimed for Gai's head.

"Aah! Don't shoot us, Grandma Tsunade!" Naruto screamed—Gai was unsuccessfully trying to hide behind him

Tsunade swayed—she had obviously been drinking—and fired. The bullet hit the door over Sakura's head, splintering the wood paneling.

"Principal Tsunade, we're sorry! Kakuzu was in charge of the money!" Gai yelled, dropping to the floor and assuming the fetal position.

"Well where the hell is Kakuzu?!" She slurred. "I'm gonna kill him too!"

"What the hell is going on?!" Deidara demanded. Tsunade answered him with a bullet right below his left ear.

"We might have only paid for three days instead of a week." Asuma explained. He was crouched behind Kisame who didn't look like he enjoyed the idea of being a shield.

"This was supposed to be a week-long vacation for me but you guys screwed it all up!" She loaded the gun. "First you pick a freaking gun lodge." She cocked the gun. "And now you didn't even pay for the whole week!"

She raised the gun to fire again.

"I think you should put down the gun before anyone else dies." Sakura said.

"Before anyone else dies?" Tsunade repeated, a blank look on her face. "Did I hit someone?" She squinted, trying to make out a dead body among the jumble of living people.

"Uh, no. There's a dead guy in that room." Deidara pointed to the room they had come out of.

"What?!" All three adults asked.

"Yeah, we just found him a second ago." Deidara smiled.

Gai, Asuma, and Tsunade quickly went into the room (Tsunade a bit more sober than before) and examined the dead body.

"Damn," Tsunade said, "now we're probably going to have a bunch of legal shit to take care of. Someone go tall Baki." She sighed. "So much for my vacation."

* * *

**^^ Tsunade only cares about her vacation, no sympathy for the dead guy^^**

**Yeah, this chapter was kind of random^^" It gets way off the subject of the dead body in the next room.**

**I guess I'm just easily distracted ^^"**

**Review please!^^ And suggest titles^o^  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**^^" Sorry this chapter is so late, but I got distracted (by facebook XD)**

**Yeah, I don't own Naruto . . .**

**Enjoy!^^  
**

* * *

Twenty-nine people were crowded into the lodge's little game room—Kakashi and Iruka were supposed to be contacting the police. By now, everyone had seen the dead body and a few of them were in tears—mainly Sakura and Ino. The ten adults sat around the card table, discussing the incident.

"None of the cars are gone and the nearest town is twenty miles away." Baki said. "So the killer is probably still here."

"S-still here?" Shizune stammered, holding tightly to Tsunade's arm.

"What if he kills one of us?" Gai said, pulling at his shiny black hair.

"I suggest we all stay here so thast we can keep an eye on each other." Yashamaru suggested. "That way, no one will have a chance to kill anyone."

"We're actually the only customers here?" Tsunade asked incredulously.

"Well," Yashamaru said nervously, "that man was the only other customer and now he's dead, so . . ."

"So the killer must be someone one in this room." Kurenai said, studying the group around her.

"It's can't be one of the students!" Shizune cried, unable to imagine that one of her "perfect" students could kill a man. Three of which were sneaking out at that very moment (Hidan, Chouji, and Tobi).

"Are you saying that it was one of us?" Baki growled.

"Oh , um, no! I was, ah, I wasn't trying to imply—"

"Whoever it is," Tsunade cut her off, "the police will figure it out when they get here.

"So what do you guys think?" Naruto asked his classmates. "Who do think id the killer?"

"Temari." Deidara said instantly.

Temari had obviously heard him and glared at him from her perch on the ping-pong table. Gaara just stared into space and Kankuro was nowhere in sight.

"My money's on that Gaara kid." Kiba whispered. "He's scary enough."

"I'm with you." Naruto agreed, glancing over at the red-head, who was staring at a spot in the ceiling.

"I don't know." Tenten said. "He looks a little spacey to be a killer."

"That's just his disguise!" Naruto assured her.

"So you think that he hides a homicidal monster beneath his impassive mask?" Shikamaru asked doubtfully.

"Well who do _you_ think it is?!" Naruto asked.

"I don't have enough information yet to suspect anyone."

"I think it was Itachi." Sasuke said.

"Sasuke! How could you say that?!"

"You guys were in that area before we found the body!"

"But we were just stopping Deidara from blowing up Temari!"

"Likely excuse!" Sasuke turned his back on his brother just in time to hide his smile.

"I think we should find out who did it on our own." Naruto said.

"How do you plan on doing that, Detective Uzumaki?" Kiba asked sarcastically.

"Um . . ."

"We should return to the crime scene and search for clues." Neji said.

"Good idea."

All fifteen of them headed toward the door.

"Hey, where do guys think you're going?!" Tsunade yelled.

"Um . . . bathroom break?" Naruto suggested.

"All of you at once?" She crossed her arms and glared at them.

"Well, um . . ." Naruto tried to think of an excuse. He grabbed Hinata. "Hinata has to pee and we're going as protection against the killer."

Hinata's face went bright red.

"Um, yeah, Principal Tsunade, I uh, really have to go."

"Fine. But at the most, I only want three people going with you."

They all looked at each other, trying to decide who should go.

"Kiba, Neji, and I'll go with her. Come on." Shikamaru led the way out the door. He had chosen the best team he could think of—Akumaru could sniff out a scent and Neji was really good at observing things that other people didn't normally see **(lol, 'cause Byakugan doesn't exist in this story^^)**.

The four of them disappeared before Tsunade could say a word.

"No fair!" Naruto whined, "I wanted to go too!"

"Um, Principal Tsuande?" Sakura said in a quiet voice. "I have to go too."

"Oh all right!" Sakura grabbed Naruto and Sasuke and steered them toward the door. "But take Kisame with you."

"Damn!" Sakura swore under her breath. She didn't like Kisame (for no apparent reason).

The four of them left the room, heading in the opposite direction of the restroom. They found Shikamaru, Kiba, Neji, and Hinata outside the dead guy's room.

"It's about time." Kiba said, giving Naruto a noogie. He released his blonde friend and then turned toward the door. "You guys ready?"

They all gulped and nodded nervously. Kiba opened the door and all of them gasped.

The body was gone.

* * *

**^^ Hee-hee**


	7. Chapter 7

**I am in such a good mood!^^**

**I have no idea why--I'm just . . happy! ^o^**

**I don't own Naruto--or disgusting Kool-aid flavors^^**

**Suggest titles, please!^^  
**

* * *

"Where's he go?"Naruto **(like an idiot ^^) **began searching the room.

"You retard, it's not like he got up and walked away!" Kiba said.

"Killer must have returned and hid the body." Neji said, surveying the room with his pale eyes.

"So they weren't in the room with us after all?" Hinata asked nervously biting her nails.

"We were the only people staying here besides the dead guy." Shikamaru said. "Who left the room before we did?"

"Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sensei weren't there." Sasuke said, remembering the absence of Naruto and his favorite teachers.

"Hidan and Tobi snuck out."Kisame said, wondering why they hadn't offered to bring him. "And they took the fat kid with them."

"Chouji." Shikamaru glared at him.

"That guy with the purple make-up wasn't there the whole time." Sakura said.

"That makes six people who could have come and hid the body." Shikamaru counted on his fingers. "Kiba, does Akumaru recognize anything?"

Kiba set his little white dog on the ground and he began sniffing around the room. He stopped and growled at the cupboard that Naruto hadn't checked yet.

"He found something!" They ran over to the cupboard and opened it.

Chouji—clutching about five extra-large potato chips—tumbled out onto the floor. He picked himself up and looked around.

"Hey guys, that passageway leads right from the kitchen!" He seemed pleased with himself. "Wait . . ." His smile faded. "This is _that_ room!"

"So you were in the kitchen this whole time?" Kiba asked, ignoring his friend's horror.

"Yeah, I found this passageway and decided to find out where it led to."

"Hm," Neji said, "The killer might have used this passage to escape."

"Hey, who spilled Kool-aid all over the floor?" Chouji asked, spotting the puddle of blood.

"Um, Chouji, that's _not_ Kool-aid." Sakura said.

"Are you trying to say that I couldn't recognize Mango-Strawberry Kool-aid if I saw it?" Chouji asked, glaring at his pink-haired classmate.

Kisame crouched down and stuck his fingers in the puddle.

"Kisame! Don't touch it!" Sakura said, horrified.

Kisame ignored her and lifted his fingers to his lips. His instantly spit it back to the floor.

"Whatever that stuff is, it's _not _blood." He announced.

"S-so what does that mean?" Hinata asked. "W-was he r-really dead?"

"Well, he _did_ have a bullet wound in his head, what do _you_ think?" Kiba asked her.

"O-oh, right."

"So our dead guy was lying in a puddle of Kool-aid? Did he drop his cup when he was shot, or something? Neji asked.

"Here's the cup!" Naruto held up a green plastic cup with the Suna Gun Lodge emblem on it.

"But where's the body? Chouji asked.

"We think the killer returned and hid it." Neji explained.

"Oh." Chouji opened one of his large chip-bags and began munching. "So, Shikamaru, who're our suspects?"

"The only people who left the room are Kakashi-sensei, Iruka-sensei, Hidan, Tobi, Kankuro, and you."

"_Me_?! _I'm _a suspect?!" Chouji choked on his mouthful of chips. "But you know I would _never_—"

"I know, Chouji, but you _did_ leave the room."

"I was with Hidan and Tobi the whole time! You can even ask them, come on!"

He led the way through the passageway back to the kitchen. Kisame got stuck a few times, but eventually made it out.

Tobi was dancing around the kitchen with various ingredients, singing about chocolate-chip cookies. Hidan was busy murmuring over a huge piece of raw meat.

"Hey guys, after we left the room, wasn't I with you the whole time?"

"Yes!" Tobi called, pouring an entire envelope of flour into a mixing bowl.

"You were together the entire time?" Sakura asked, "You were never out of each other's sight?" She eyed Hidan, obviously suspecting him of the murder.

"Yes!" Tobi answered again. He poured an entire gallon of milk into the bowl and began stirring it, tossing in random spices that were sitting on the counter. Sakura tried to tell him that she didn't think garlic went onto chocolate-chips cookies, but he ignored her.

"So we can take Tobi, Hidan, and Chouji off the suspect list." Naruto said, scratching their names off a list that he had made. "That leaves Kakashi-sensei, Iruka-sensei, and Kankuro."

"Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sensei?!" Chouji asked, shocked. "But they're _teachers_!"

"I bet it was Kankuro." Naruto said, circling the name on his notepad.

"Oh really?"

Naruto jumped when he heard Kankuro's voice and turned to glare at the intruder. All three of the Suna siblings were standing together at the door. Gaara, for once, was not staring off into space, but glaring at the Konoha students.

"So my brother's a killer?" Temari asked. She laughed, "I doubt Kankuro could kill anything! He doesn't even like it if we smash a spider—he'd rather let it go outside. One time—"

"Shut up, Temari!" Kankuro covered her mouth so she couldn't finish the story.

Kiba and Naruto were laughing anyway.

"What a wuss!"

"Can't even kill a _spider_!"

"Do you have an alibi?" Neji asked.

"Um, well . . ." Kankuro's cheeks went pink. "It's kind of the same as your teacher's."

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked.

"They were torturing me because I walked in on them making out." Kankuro sounded miserable.

"What?!" Every Konoha jaw dropped. There were a few moments of silence before Kiba, Shikamaru, Kisame, and Hidan began cracking up. Hidan laughed so hard that he fell over onto the floor.

"Hey, I'm serious!" Kankuro said angrily.

"How'd they torture you?" Kiba asked, wiping tears from his eyes. "Threaten to kiss you if you told anyone?"

"No!" Kankuro crossed his arms.

Temari couldn't hold it in any longer: "They tickled him!" She burst out.

By now, almost everyone in the kitchen was laughing. The idea of Kankuro getting tickled as torture was just too hilarious.

"Hey, I'm extremely ticklish! It's not funny, stop laughing!"

They only laughed harder.

* * *

**Lol!!!^^**

**Kankuro's ticklish^^ hahahahahahahahahahha!!!!!!**

**Sorry, I just couldn't hold it in--I'm just i too good of a mood^^**

**Review ! ( a LiTtLe bIt oF a JJuumpy fingerr!!) ^^^**

**Aaah! I've now got three eyes!!!!**

**Sorry--really hyper^^**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Final two chapters coming out tomorrow! (It totally didn't end the way I wanted it to, but it's AOK!^^  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**I don't won Naruto.**

**Sorry these chapter's are so late, I forgot that I was supposed to be typing them until 9:00 ^^"**

**Omigosh! I just killed a wasp that was onthe kitchen floor!!!! I hate bees so much T.T**

**Why can't bugs freakin' migrate like birds?! It's freaking November! Freaking hibernate or something!!!!! .**

**So yeah, enjoy the chapter!  
**

* * *

By the time Tsunade found them most of them were lying on the floor, exhausted.

"What the hell are you doing?" She demanded.

"I'm pretty sure laughing isn't a crime, Grandma Tsunade." Naruto said, trying to sit up. "Ouch!" He grabbed his stomach and sank back to the floor. He couldn't even get up because his stomach hurt from laughing so hard.

The only ones who hadn't completely cracked up were Gaara (although he _did_ laugh a little), Kankuro, and Tobi (who had been completely oblivious to what was going on around him).

Itachi came running in, worry etched on his face.

"Sasuke, are you alright?" He ran to his little brother and began to suffocate him with hugs.

"Get off Itachi! Ow!" His stomach hurt too bad to shove his brother off so he just glared while Itachi smothered him.

"We can go home now." Tsunade said. "The police came and cleared everything up."

"So they found the killer?" Naruto asked. "Who was it?"

"None of your business, now go pack up your stuff and get in the van!"

The students picked themselves up (with many groans of pain) and headed to their rooms.

"I wonder who the killer was." Naruto said, shoving his reserve ramen that he had packed into his suitcase.

"Yeah, I wish we could have found him ourselves." Kiba said.

They slammed their suitcases shut and headed out to the parking lot.

In the car, Naruto spotted a familiar figure coming out of the lodge.

"Oh my god! A zombie!" He yelled, grabbing onto Sasuke's arm. Everyone turned to look out his window. "That's the guy!" He said. "The dead guy! He's alive!"

"Whoa!" Everyone crowded toward his window, trying to see the alive-dead man."

Sure enough, the man that had previously been lying dead on the floor was slowly heading toward one of the parked vehicles.

Kakashi started the car and began to drive out of the parking lot while all his younger passengers pressed their faces against the window.

The zombie looked up as they passed, giving them a full view of the wound on his head.

"K-Kakashi-sensei, did the police say who the killer was?" Naruto asked, never taking his eyes from the zombie.

"It's funny," Kakashi said," They never found him . . . _or _the body."

He and Iruka tried to hide their laughter with Anko's music while all of their other passengers panicked.

* * *

**Lol, ^^,they're so mean!**

**You'll understand in the next chapter . . .^^  
**


	9. What Really Happened

**d^.^b** . . .

**I'm listening to this German radio station,and I wanna know--why are all the songs in English?**

**I don't own Naruto.**

**Okay, so I discovered that AJ Smith is a real person XD but I only named this guy AJ Smith 'cause it stands for Average Joe and Smith is supposed to be an uber-popular last name--although I've never met anyone with the last name Smith . . .**

**Okay, so this chapter just kind of explains what really happened, it's better than what I originally wrote, so--enjoy!^^  
**

* * *

What Really Happened

Mr. AJ Smith looked at his cup of Kool-aid. It was red—that usually meant it was a good flavor, right? He took a sip and then gagged—it was disgusting!  
He spit the stuff back into the cup and set it on the table, grimacing.

_Who in God's name is in charge of coming up with new Kool-aid flavors? _He thought. _They need fired!_

He fingered the fake bullet wound on his forehead. The stupid things still wouldn't come off—he had just come from a costume party and while there, learned that you're _not_ supposed to superglue the fake wounds to your body. He was just too accident prone—the only reason he was staying at the gun lodge was because he had accidentally run into a stop sign a few miles away and is car had decided to quit working.

He accidentally bumped into the table and knocked the cup to the floor.

"Oh, damn." He reached down quickly and accidentally slammed his head into the table-top. He fell to the floor—unconscious.

…

A few hours later, he woke up. He had this strange feeling that someone had been watching him earlier.

He rubbed his sore head and left the room to find Baki, the manager. Maybe he would just call a tow-truck instead of waiting for his mom to come get him **(^o^, I just think that's hilarious! I didn't originally have it in here and I started cracking up when I typed it ^^)**.

He wandered around the lodge, unable to find _anyone_.

"Where could everyone have gone?" He knew there was a school group staying there—he saw them earlier shooting at each other like any teenagers with guns would do.

He was busy picking up a vase he had just knocked over when the room was suddenly filled with police. He was shoved to the ground and had a gun or two pointed at his head.

Many embarrassing explanations later, AJ learned that supposedly, one of the customers had been murdered.

Baki and the other adults came running out of the game room after hearing the commotion and spotted the "dead" man talking with the police.

"That's the man that was shot!" Yashamaru exclaimed.

"Huh? Shot?" AJ was so confused. So _he was_ supposed to be the dead customer?

"I think there's been a misunderstanding." A police officer said.

"No shit, Sherlock!" Tsunade growled—she wasn't in a good mood; half of her students had disappeared and not come back.

AJ explained his embarrassing story once again. He apologized so many times, that he felt like his mouth would fall off—Tsunade whished it _would _fall off.

After finally discovering what had really happened, Tsunade went in search of her missing students.

AJ headed out to his car, which had been towed a few hours ago, and wondered if he should his mother about his eventful day—probably not. He looked up as three rental-vans drove by.

There were about fifteen teenagers staring at him as if he were . . . He didn't know, a _zombie_, or something.

* * *

**Thank you all for reading!!**

**I have a new story to be posted soon--The Case of the Missing Sasuke!!**

**It's uber-short, so you won't have to worry about me missing deadlines^^**

**Ciao!  
**


End file.
